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Friends, family, and ex lovers

Brooks…let’s call him Brooks. Brooks and I were really close for really long. He was the most amazing man that I had ever met. I loved him with everything I was, and hoped for the same back. I would have done anything for him. I still would, if we’re being honest. He was straight out of a Disney movie, and he never once failed to make me smile. With him, the world was right. Everything was ok. He was the missing piece that God knew that I needed. I really thought that he was my soulmate! But, something wasn’t right in our relationship. There was something missing, and I could tell. I’m pretty sure Brooks could, too.

God closed that chapter of my life. And, of course, I was sad that the guy that I would have given my life for was no longer in it.

Brooks is still a recurring character on my mind, and I will NEVER stop respecting the bajeezus outta that boy. But, even if it isn’t something I want, God has a plan. And Brooks isn’t a part of it.

I pray for Brooks daily. I still love him, and I’ll never stop. I still talk about him like he’s the best thing in the world (well…cuz he is). He’s going to make some girl very happy one day. I want HIM to be happy. I had to come to the harsh realization that I just couldn’t give him what he needed. It terrifies me that the next girl he’s with may not love him the way that I did. I want him to be treated with the respect that he deserves, NOTHING less. You know, I just hope she’s freaking perfect.

I would like to say that Brooks and I are still friends, but….I dunno, I think he needs a healthy break from me. Which I understand.

My friends and my family were there for me every step of the way. When Brooks was there, and when he wasn’t. I see now, more than ever, that I’m so blessed to have what I have. I have the best group of people to support my every move, and I’ve got so many exciting things coming my way. I can’t be mad at God for what He’s done to change my life. After all, He knows better than I do.

I’m trustin’ ya, Man. I know You’ll give me what I need.

-Jen


Instagram: @jenny.biggs